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- Name: Melanie "duchanne" Moore
- Natural Habitat: The Red Room, Tim Hortons, in rehearsal
- Things She Loves: fair trade organic coffee, Jack, Keith's, Futurama, her mac lappy, Fat Fat and Daedalus, guimauves, lighting things on fire, fake holidays, and her number one ninja most of all
- Things She Doesn't Love: the jerks who cancelled Arrested Development, jerks in general (you know who you are, jerks)
- Spends Too Much Time: trying to decipher Jeff's roadmaps, apologizing, trying to save the world from whatever it's in danger of
- Doesn't Spend Enough Time: sleeping
- Things She'd Rather: stay upright when rollerblading
- Things She'd Rather Not: grow up, eat animals
- Theme Song of the Moment: Batman
- Quote of the Moment: "Passion: There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart. Pursue those." - anonymous
- Quote of the Rest of the Moments: "Aw hell. Am I supposed to be somewhere?"
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